i l0ve y0u like i l0ve the stars ab0ve;

that is s0 pathetic;

2007-06-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
i wnt be updating f0r s0me time.
cause i'm kinda busy.
with life.

have t0 g0 sch0ol twice in a week.
haiy0.that is s0 pathetic.
dnt y0u agree?

haiy0.
nehmind.nehmind.
when i have time.
i w0uld update s0on.
real s00ooo0o0o0o0o0on.
weehes.

g0tta g0.
peash.
happy h0lidays.

y0u' + 'mE =trusT;

2007-06-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
kinda l0ve t0day!!!!
went t0 viv0 with the h0mec club.
and it turned 0ut n0t just fun but t0tally amazing!

weehes.
kinda in a happy m0od.
i'm smilling.at last.
after yesterdae.

and mrs pada.
thanks f0r the chicken rice treat.
hah!yummy dummy chicken rice.
didnt kn0w they s0ld delici0us chicken rice there.
cause i was a regular cust0mer at ljs.

s0 pictures saes it all.
saes the laughter and fun we had there.
i wnt write anything.
i w0uld p0st pictures 0nly.
s0 have fun.
weehes.

living in lala~ land;

2007-06-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
kinda n0t a g0od day f0r me t0dae.
s0rry kak haslinda.
cause' i didnt went 0ut with y0u t0dae.

i was in a bad m0od t0dae.
that's why i decided t0 g0 h0me.
cause i dnt like t0 talk when i'm in a bad m0od th0ugh.

s0 s0rry yeah?
kinda stuck between s0mething' and **.
went h0me.walked in the rain.
caught a c0ld.having a slight fever t0day.

didnt talk much.
went h0me.changed and went t0 sleep.
kinda living in fantasy.

whatever lar.
i dnt think i wanna talk much t0dae.
s0 kinda g0t t0 g0.
dummie aint dummie t0dae.

take care.sh0rt p0st f0r n0w.
peash.

i'm trippin' on w0rds;

2007-05-30T15:54:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
kinda 'ridding a r0ller c0aster' m0od right n0w.
m0ments laughing 0ut l0ud.
and n0w i'm fr0wning.

kinda having th0ughts.
ab0ut certain things.
'i th0ught i t0ok 0ne step.i t0ok tw0 back.
i'm n0t even cl0se this time and that's a fact.'

kinda messed up things.
and fcuked up time.
nehmind.
a sh0rt p0st w0uld be fine,i guess.

cause i dnt wanna sae anything anym0re.
take care.peash.
and i did learned s0mething ab0ut the stars.
astr0 dummie d0ing the w0rk ,i guess.

nahh.st0p it till here.
peash.

i wasn't doin my part
I tried to dig deep inside of me
Hoping that I could see
how I was breaking your heart
I'm all alone with thoughts inside me
Can't get 'em out of me

a feeling;

2007-05-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
kinda b0red.
and s0 d0ing this lame survey just t0 kill time.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

1. Where is your cell phone?
-beside

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
- died

3. Your hair?
- bushy

4. Work?
- cl0wn

5. Your father?
- 0ut

6. The room you're in?
- mine

7. Your pet?
- murdered

8. Your fears?
- l0ve

9. What do you want to be in 15 years?
- astr0naunt!

10. Where did you hang out last night?
- llibrary

11. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex?
-*silence*

12Where do you grow up?
- singap0re

13. The last thing you did?
- sing

14. What are you wearing?
- cl0thes?

15. What aren't you wearing?
- sh0es?

16. Your computer?
- preci0us

17. Your life?
- blessed

18. Your mood?
- happy

19. Missing?
- n0one

20.What are you thinking about right now?
- stars

21.Your car?
- n0ne

22. When is the last time you laughed?
- m0ments

23.Last movie watched?
- n0ne

stupid survey huh?
hah.nehmind.
did it just t0 kill time anyway.
haish.

sh0rt p0st f0r t0day.
kinda g0t t0 g0.
g0ing t0 library again.
br0wsing b0oks 0n stars.

weehes.
g0tta g0.
astr0 dummie's kinda busy with the stars.
hah!

astr0 dummie's j0b;

2007-05-26T21:22:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0day was fun fun fun.
i did had truckl0ads 0f fun just then.
even th0ugh it's 0nly tw0.

went t0 meet kumengg' at 536++.
th0ught it w0uld be kinda b0red cause it was 0nly tw0.
fun.n0-n0.
but i was wr0ng th0ugh.

b0ard nineteen-eight.
and alighted at the library.
went inside the library and did stuffs.

after that.
i decided t0 give way cause kumengg' was having a fever.
and it was kinda c0ld.
and s0 0ff we went.

and a car suddenly m0ve t0wards us.
it slightly wanted t0 hit kumengg' but luckily.it didnt.
and kumenng' was kinda pissed 0ff by the driver.
i was talking t0 iqah 0n the f0ne and he kept 0n cursing.
i sue y0u then y0u kn0w.hah!
that was what he say.0ver and 0ver again.
and als0 0ver and 0ver again.
when i think ab0ut it.i cnt st0p laughing.

and he decided t0 eat at ljs.
we did it.
and after that i decided t0 take 335 at the science centre bust0p.
and s0 we walked t0 the 0pen space near the library.

and i l0oked at the sky.
damn!
i bet y0u.
it was s0 beautiful.

we decided t0 sit at the pavement.
and star-gaze.
and i want t0 be an astr0naunt!!!!

i want t0 gr0w up and t0uch the m0on.
and i want t0 see the stars fr0m a cl0ser distance.
i dnt care!!
i w0uld d0 anything.
d0 research 0n stars.
anything just t0 gain kn0wledge ab0ut stars.

and i had a g0od time.
and kumengg' keeps saying i'm cute.
hah.but i'm matured.
weehes.

i am matured.i am n0t cute.
pleash lar.i'm nearly f0urteen.
n0t f0ur.
weehes.

and i was sc0lded by my parents.
f0r having a $100 bill.
fuy00ooo!!!

i myself didnt kinda believe th0ugh.
but whatever.
it's just $100.
hah!

i need l0bangs.
need a j0b t0 start having m0ney t0 pay f0r my bills.
i dnt really all0w my parents t0 pay.
but they still pay th0ugh.
haiy0.i was tryna be independant.
hah!

nehmind.kinda g0 t0 g0 s0meh0w.
mummy's such a nag!!
haiy0.s0metimes i just wished i was deaf!
s0 that i w0nt be able t0 hear naggings.

s0 peash pe0ple.
i'm 0utta here.
dummie's 0utta here.
n0-n0.change it.

astr0 dummie's 0utta here.
weehes.peash.

all 0r n0thing;

2007-05-25T19:06:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
been kinda busy lately.
and th0ugh june h0liday's here.
i still have t0 g0 skewl.

damn!
bad bad bad.
lemme remember.
ermm.

28th and 30th may-maths class.
2nd june-g0 t0 viv0city with h0mec club(c0mpetiti0n)
6th june-h0mec class.
and maybe m0re t0 c0me.

cause they say they need 0ur help in packing up t0 m0ve t0 the 0ther sch0ol.
and damn!
times went by t0o fast.
didnt get t0 cherish m0ments.in h0ng kah sec0ndary sch0ol.

haiy0.next year g0t t0 g0 t0 an0ther sch0ol already.
and a friend 0f mine is changing sch0ols.
but we had a fite many m0nths ag0.
and we arent 0n the talking terms.

and when i run int0 him.
i wanted t0 say hi'.
but i f0rg0t that we didnt talk and when he walked pass.
i l0oked away.when actually i c0uld just end the c0ld war.

but my pride.i have t0 think ab0ut it th0ugh.
i kn0w it's the same t0 him.
but i dnt kn0w.
did kinda pr0mised t0 syaq and c0mpany.

i w0uld talk t0 him bef0re he g0es and leaves us.
but i dnt kn0w what t0 say and when is the right time.
and s0metimes.i just wished.
i w0uld just put aside my pride.and make the m0ve t0 say s0rry.

nehmind.i kn0w i'm g0od at breaking pr0mises anyway.
but maybe f0r the sake 0f them.
i w0uld say s0rry.
and 0uhya.if syaff's and c0mpany reading this.
tell him that i'm s0rry can?
y0u kn0w wh0 kans?
and he can tag al0ng if we were t0 g0 0ut t0gether.

h0okay.i did that already.
maybe.
s0 let's talk ab0ut 0ther stuffs.
ermm..

i'm 0ver it.yesha!
and i wnt fall in l0ve.ANYM0RE.
dah serik dey.
haiy0.

and dnt ask anym0re kans?
haiy0.
pathetic.
and i did knew s0mething**.
maybe yes.0r perhaps.
it's just a **.
nehmind.

i didnt want t0 think ab0ut that.
i just wanna have a g0od h0ls.
and maybe if y0ur reading this.
can help me to0?

if y0u run int0 s0me0ne n0t 0nce,n0t twice but many times.
what d0es it signifies?
p0st a c0mment.dnt tag.
but p0st c0mment.
click 0n the p0st a c0mment.

d0 c0mment.
i just wanna kn0w.
dnt think 0therwise.
**.

s0 i think i g0tta g0 anyway.
keeping busy due t0 **.

s0 take care.
till here then.
peash.

less0ns learnt;

2007-05-22T17:18:00.000+08:00

Because you are my friend
I would do for you all that my heart and my soul and body are capable of doing.
I would cry with you and share your burdens when you are down.
I would laugh with you and rejoice with you when you have achieved.
I would be there when you want my company and I would be gone when you do not.
But do not expect perfection from me,
for the day shall come when I let you down and you will be hurt.
And when I let you down, it will not be because I desire to hurt you,
nor because I do not still love you.
It will only be because
I am human and that is one frailty from which no one can escape.

Eight Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent:

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING . . .
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION . . .
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER . . .
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE . . .
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT . . .
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR . . .
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE . . .
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION . . .
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone,
really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise,
and they always want to open their hearts to us.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us,
we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advise, solutions, or cures,
have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand.
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, ora lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is, youwill know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a god send, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met,
ou rdesire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amountof joy.
Believe it! It is real!
But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

breakd0wn;

2007-05-20T17:36:00.000+08:00

Breakdown
I can’t take this
I need somewhere to go
I need you
I’m so restless
I don’t know what to do

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can’t let go
I just can’t find my way
Without you I just can’t find my way

But I was stupid
And you broke me down
I’ll never be the same again

I wonder why it always has to hurt
For every lesson that you have to learn
I won’t forget what you did to me
How you showed me things I wished I’d never see

heyl0s.heyl0s.
didnt update yesterdae.
wasnt at h0me.
was at s0mewhere 0ver the rainb0w.

s0rted 0ut my th0ughts.
i'm d0ne with l0ve.
been thru' with l0ve.
and i swear i wnt l0ve!

damn!
and 0uhya.
didnt went t0 skewl 0n fridae cause i didnt want t0.
just c0uldnt face the day.maybe.

kinda em0 everyday.
talk 0nly when i have t0.
didnt eat much.
and smiles?

y0u think?
even if i did smile.
it's a fake 0ne perhaps.
i dnt kn0w.

like i sae.
i just need time t0 m0ve 0n.
i just s0 hate thursdae and fridae.
damn!

nehmind.
end it here.
i dnt wanna break d0wn anym0re.
en0ugh is en0ugh.

it ends t0night.
it ends t0night.
pictures bel0w.
take care.

n0 m0re beanie.
it's dummie 0nly n0w.
s0 dummie's 0utta here.
peash!

sadly smiling through;

2007-05-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
been awhile since i update my bl0g.
quite r0tten.
hah!

many things happening.
everyb0dy's changing and i dnt feel the same.
and n0w i live my life by the phrase;
friends c0me and g0 but 0nly the true 0nes stays.

0nly this phrase stays.
the rest.mem0ries.
i dnt really want t0 think ab0ut it.
and sexybaliks n0where t0 be f0und.

the m0ments we spent.
since 1sept g0ne d0wn the drain.
everything falling apart.
s0 n0w.
i 0nly treasure pe0ple wh0 treasure me.

much less t0 say.
i entertain pe0ple wh0 talk t0 me.
and bel0w that.
n0ne.
geddit?

s0 n0te t0 peeps:
i'm n0t giving attitude.0r being s0mb0ng here.
but pleash lar.
dnt make me mad kan?

s0 n0w i'm just living my days.
i'm n0t t00 far fr0m breaking d0wn.
all i've g0t are the screams fr0m inside.
but s0meh0w they c0me 0ut in a smile.

dnt wanna think ab0ut things n0w.
it w0uld 0nly make it m0re ...
haiy0.

g0tta g0 f0r n0w.
0ff t0 the library.
letting all stress 0ut.
is just the best s0meh0w.

a day t0 be al0ne.
And the best is yet to come.
Cause our story isn't done.

s0 take care.
s0 n0w the sexybalik's fairytale b0ok is cl0sed.
which b0ok w0uld i 0pen?

And still today
I wonder how it all became like this
As if drawn by unseen force
We arrived in one specific place,
for all our dreams to chase
and although we did not show,
I think we all did know;

peash 0ut.
take care.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

tell me it's real;

2007-05-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
it's n0t a great day t0 start with.
damn!!
s0mething happened in the wee h0urs.

actually it happened yesterdae th0ugh.
i t0ld s0me0ne i was n0t single.
and then..
*s0me0ne* didnt reply.

kept me waiting like hell.
after a while.
at last.ar0und 119am.
*s0me0ne* replied.
saying *s0me0ne* was 0n the ph0ne with a friend.
and then *s0me0ne* was c0nfused.
cause i did t0ld *s0me0ne* that i was single.
and i t0ld *s0me0ne* that i didnt t0ld the truth cause..
*s0me0ne* was already c0nfused when i say i was n0t single.

and then *s0me0ne* replied.
saying what is the lies that c0uld make y0u satisfy me?
haiy0.
and then i say what i say.
and *s0me0ne* says.
y0u kn0w y0urself.that y0u hate liars.

yayaya.
and then i replied what i want t0 say.
and *s0me0ne* replied again.
explainati0n d0esnt make a diff in me.
i can j0ke and share things with y0u.
but i didnt expect these way 0f things t0 happen.
y0u have really bl0wn my t0p 0f.

haiy0.
and i say if i k0l 0n *s0me0ne*.
i kn0w *s0me0ne* w0nt pick up the ph0ne.
and *s0me0ne* says up t0 me.

haiy0.and i wanted t0 call actually.
but i fell asleep.
damn!
w0ke up at 651am.
and msg *s0me0ne*.
says that i was s0rry t0 have fallen asleep.
and at 859amn.
*s0me0ne* msg t0 leave *s0me0ne* al0ne.

damn!!!
it wasnt literally my fault per.
we were all al0ng friends.
and y0u didnt ask whether i was attch 0r single.
and n0w y0u ask me t0 leave y0u al0ne.
damn!

i dnt kn0w what i sh0uld say t0 y0u th0ugh.
but i wnt talk t0 y0u f0r the time being.
y0u s0rt y0ur thinkings 0ut first.
dnt bl0w y0ur t0p 0n me man!

en0ugh ab0ut this anyway.
let's talk ab0ut yesterday.
i went t0 nuh.
the d0ct0r examined me.

and say it was just a muscul0skeletal backpain.
i had strained a muscle.
did went f0r the x-ray t0o.
luckily it was 0k.
alhamdulilah.

and the d0ct0r prescribed me s0me painkillers.
and a fever d0sages.
cause i was having a fever.

that's it i guess.
think i'm d0ne here.
maybe i'm n0t g0ing t0 sent0sa t0m0rr0w.
s0rry guys.

i just dnt have the m0od t0 g0.
damn!
haiy0.
take care.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

hate is a str0ng w0rd;

2007-05-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0day was fun th0ugh.
t0ld ya.
i was g0ing t0 hit the t0wn.
with the slenges.
muben,syaf and stan.

we had fun all the way.
but s0mething struck me.
and all the way back fr0m sent0sa.
i was keeping quiet.

but it was fun th0ugh.
if y0u minus my silence.
it w0uld be a perfect time.
spending time with them.
let's get started.

meet muben and syaf under my v0id deck.
i was late,predicted.
maybe they were early.
kk.whatever.it's my fault s0 whatever.
and we went 0ff t0 jur0ng east inter by d0uble three f0ur.
reach there.

call standley.
he sae he w0uld meet us at the platf0rm.
syaff was intending n0t t0 g0.
cause elna was g0ing t0o.
but we f0rced her.

there's s0me misunderstanding between them.
but whatever it is.i dnt give a damn!
it's just the n0rmal thing pe0ple bicker 0ver.
haiy0!

and s0 we reached there.
every0ne was pretty em0.
but i dnt play this kind 0f thing th0ugh.
im always happy-g0-lucky.

i kn0w syaff was unhappy.
cause she knew elna was g0ing.
s0 i make up my mind.
i t0ld her.
it's either the f0ur 0f us g0 t0gether.
0r we wait f0r the rest.
and she say wait f0r the rest.

but i knew she didnt want t0.
and s0 i f0rced her t0 the platf0rm.
met standley there.
he wanted t0 g0 t0wn first.

and s0 i decided that.
the f0ur 0f us g0 t0wn first and meet the rest at viv0.
and s0 0ff we went t0 t0wn.
standley b0ught his things and all.
and we did to0k ne0prints.

after that.
we b0ard 0ne'f0ur three t0 viv0.
muben wanted t0 play with the water first.
bef0re eating.
and s0 we did.

after a while,with 0ur drenched cl0thes.
we went t0 ljs t0 eat 0ur lunch.
and saw the rest.
i admit we were kinda s0mb0ng.

hah.but s0rry guys.
weehes.
after that.
we walked ar0und.
walked ar0und and c0me t0 a decisi0n.
since every0ne was t0o b0red.

i decided t0 g0 t0 sent0sa!!!!!
weehes.
t0ok m0n0rail t0 sent0sa!
and damn!
the sun was s0 the h0t man!
haiy0!

but we did had truckl0ads 0f fun there.
t0ok pictures.
cam-wh0re here.and there.
but after that.
g0ing h0me.

s0mething silent me.
w0uldnt say anything ab0ut it.
but i was suddenly taken aback.
maybe s0me 0f the pics with 0nly me
w0uld say it all.
just like a picture says a th0usand w0rds.

lemme play with y0ur mind.
maybe y0u c0uld try and s0lve what makes me silent.
and wh0ever n0es.
then maybe i w0uld give y0u a kish.
hah!dream 0n.

weehes.
fr0m sent0sa 0nwards.
i was s0 quiet.
damn!
and furtherm0st.
they caught me 0n candid camera while i was sleeping.
g0sh!naughty them.
i was s0 tired mind y0u.
slept at 4 and w0ke up at 9.

haiy0.
nehmind.
i'll st0p here.
i'm s0 tired.
and maybe i'm feeling sick.
haiy0.
and t0m0rr0w's n0t l0oking f0rward t0 g0ing f0r the x-ray.
cnt stand it if it's a bad news.
damn!

haiy0.
till here then.
update t0m0rr0w.
take care.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.
peash.

hate is a strong word
but i really really really dont like you
now thats its over
i dont even know what i liked about you;

a lazy aftern0on;

2007-05-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
0bvi0usly i had fun.
but we didnt went t0 survey the class-t th0ugh.
cause ninah was sick.
and standley didnt want t0 g0.

s0 left me and muben.
bet y0u.
we did had truckl0ads 0f fun.
let's get started.

i met muben under his v0ideck at 145.
but he 0nly reached at 2.
tell y0u first.
he's n0t always punctual!!!
g0sh.
i'm speaking the truth th0ugh.
hah!

and s0 we set 0ff and t0ok 198.
went t0 je.
had 0ur lunch at l0ng j0hn silver.
and 0ff we went again.
n0w t0 jur0ng east library.

paid my fine with my credit card.
cause i was b0red at h0me and s0.
i decided t0 b0rr0w b0oks.
what's m0re.
it's like 6days fr0m sch0ol.
with0ut a thing t0 d0 at h0me.

s0 it's kinda great.
expl0ring int0 the fantasy.
and i l0ve t0 build sandcastles in the air.
just like what kak haslinda say.

0uhya.
bef0re i f0rg0t.
we didnt keep in t0uch since the exams started.
haiy0.cause i was busy.

and i dnt take pe0ple f0r granted th0ugh.
it's n0t like what y0u think.
* y0u* refers t0 a *s0me0ne*.
nehmind.
i dnt wish t0 talk ab0ut it th0ugh.

back t0 t0day pleash.
where did i st0p?
ermm...
after b0rr0wing b0oks.
we decided t0 walk h0me.
but we didnt.
cause mr sunshine was t0o mrs sunshine.
hah!it was s0 damm h0t.
and i hate it!

s0 we went 0ff and t0ok 335 h0me.
we dr0pped 0ff at hua yi bust0p.
and went t0 find a place under the v0ideck.
and that's where we went crazy 0ver cam-wh0ring!!
hah!guys d0 like t0 cam-wh0re,i just knew.
hahahaha.

s0 ph0t0s bel0w.
have fun seeing them.
dnt get we wr0ng.
we were besties all al0ng.
fr0m sec0ndary 0ne.
and h0pefully till we died.
peace.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

and 0uhya.
i'm 0ff t0 t0wn t0m0rr0w.
weehes.

all that we needed;

2007-05-09T20:52:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
it's been t0o l0ng.
didnt use the c0m.
and n0w since exams 0ver.
here starts the fun!!!

weehes.
we g0t at least 0ne week 0f h0liday.
end till next tuesdae.
and w0uld start t0 g0 skewl 0n wednesdae.

and yesha!t0m0rr0w i'm g0ing 0ut.
with muben and standley.
ninah ask t0 c0unt her 0ut.
she's sick.

s0 we're g0ing t0 the t-shirt pritnting sh0p.
t0 survey m0re.
cause we are d0ing 0ur class-t's.

frankly speaking.
0ur class is supp0rtive.
c0unt s0me 0ut.
but m0stly.
maj0rity is supp0rtive.
f0r instance.
we had this inter-class c0mpetiti0n.
and all wanted t0 play.
but 0nly s0me were selected.
but the rest say they w0uld supp0rt till the end.
s0me even wanted t0 be the masc0t 0f 0ur class.

hah!silly 0f them.
but i'm lucky i g0t a g0od class.
all i need is pe0ple wh0's supp0rtive.
and my life w0uld be c0mplete.

en0ugh ab0ut this anyway.
i'm sleeping late t0day.
i wanna see the stars.
c0me 0ut stars!!
s0 that i can make a wish.

weehes.
ph0t0s updated.
the trip t0 j0h0r 0n sunday.
and als0 the 0uting 0n lab0ur's day.

have fun seeing them.
weehes.
and i'm 0utta here.
t0m0rr0w w0uld be starting t0 update n0rmally.
if p0ssible.
and remind me t0 update pics 0f t0m0rr0w.
weehes.

beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

[my h0use in j0h0r bahru]

You could say we were just a big mistake,
I think it's worth making, And worth repeating.
I would say good things come to those who wait,
I would say anything, If you'd believe it.

You could say we were just a big mistake,
I think it's worth making,
And worth repeating.
I would say good things come to those who wait,
I would say anything, If you'd believe it.

living my life;

2007-05-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
been busy lately.
with the exams.
with life.
and with pe0ple.

haiy0.
exams have started.
ends 0n wednesdae.
life?s0meh0w busy...
n0 c0mments 0n that.
and pe0ple.
m0ther's day c0ming s0on.

13th may.
but my family is celebrating it t0m0rr0w.
it's either we're g0ing t0 changi again.
0r celebrating it with a big cake.
0r even t0 g0 0ut as a family.

i dnt have any clue.
but i thnk it's best t0 stay at h0me.
cause my exams c0ming.
and i'm w0rried.

haiy0.
dump the tensi0n.yeah.
but haiy0.
i dnt kn0w.
it's pressure maybe.

nehmind.f0rget ab0ut it.
i dnt have anything t0 say.
s0 i think i'm d0ne.

but ph0t0s bel0w.
have fun l0oking at them.
s0me i t0ok when i went 0ut t0 changi with family 0n lab0ur's day.
and s0me i t0ok when we had study gr0ups but we went t0 science centre.
hah!but 0verall.it's fun th0ugh.

s0 take care.
i w0uld update s0on again.
but n0 pr0mises.
take care.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

and there's one thing i kn0w;

2007-04-22T18:40:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
yesterday was fun th0ugh.
we had a family functi0n at d0wnt0wn chalet.
i think.

i didnt swim th0ugh.
but we did had fun.
truckl0ads 0f them i guess.

and bef0re i f0rgets.
lab0ur day is n0t this c0ming tuesday.
it falls 0n 1st may.s0 next week.

we reached d0wnt0wn at ar0und 430pm.
went t0 the chalet and stuff.
i wasnt really in a happy m0od.
my mind was 0n sexybaliks th0ugh.

yayayaya.
maybe syaff was angry.
but seri0usly lar.
y0u cnt blame syaq.
she was als0 feeling left 0ut,i guess.
and what's m0re.
she was angry with the negr0 thingy.

i admit i was cl0se t0 her this past week.
but i d0 it because every0ne wasnt 0n talking terms with her th0ugh.
it's like every0ne was busy with their 0wn lives 0r wnt talk t0 her.

y0u can say i sympathise her.
ya.i d0.
but remember.
she's my friend.y0u cnt criticise her.

s0 st0p that negr0 thingy.
and whatever happens.
y0u sh0uld kn0w.
i'm always there.

and whatever happens.it happens f0r a reas0n.
and if we weren't destined t0 be friends f0rever.
i w0uld kn0w.
cause i dnt believe in trying.
cause what's the use in trying if we aint destined to be b.f.f.
i only believe in fate.

just like the saying.
l0ve wnt g0 anywhere if y0ur destined t0 last.
s0 if we are destined t0 be b.f.f.
then we are destined.
n0 use trying.

h0pe we w0uld end these c0ld wars between us.
and again.
we w0uld be able t0 sit at the r0und table.
having little time but s0 much things t0 talk ab0ut.
and 0nce again.
we c0uld sing the sexybaliks theme s0ng.

h0w i h0pe things w0uld be 0kay.
i sighed.but it wnt change the situati0n.
i try everything i c0uld.
and yet again.
it still didnt change the situati0n.

en0ugh ab0ut this th0ugh.
let's c0ntinue fr0m where we st0p ab0ut yesterdae.

all my family members were there.
c0usins.nephews.nieces.
uncles and aunts.

and i didnt kn0w i have s0 much nephews and nieces.
hah!and what's m0re.
i c0uldnt even remember their names.
but nehmind.
time will help me.
and pictures w0uld be upl0aded.
have fun l0oking at them.

but all the fun ended.
because 0f me.
n0t as in i did s0mething wr0ng th0ugh.
but i guess due t0 the fall i had.
my back c0uldnt m0ve.

i was carrying things t0 barbeque.
and suddenly i c0uldnt m0ve.
and my uncles was w0rrying.
g0sh!

and they asked me t0 g0 d0ct0r.
but i didnt want t0.
and s0 they bring me h0me t0 my 5th uncle's h0use.
cause my aunt was a physcian.

she massaged my back.
and she t0ld me that my veins was tied t0gether.
that's the reas0n why i c0uldnt m0ve.
and what's m0re.
my back was bruised.
if y0u c0uld see.
it's n0t straight d0wn t0 the b0tt0m.
it g0t a hump.

haiy0.
and i c0uldnt bend.
and my right hand hurts.
haiy0.
0ne pr0blem after an0ther.

thank g0d it wasnt 0n the left.
if n0t.i c0uldnt have write.
hah!

s0 i think i'm d0ne here.
pictures bel0w.
and i dnt wanna think much ab0ut anything.

Can you leave me here alone now
I don’t wanna hear you say
That you know me
That I should be
Always doing what you say

‘Cause I’m trying get through today
And there’s one thing I know
I don’t wanna think about you
Or think about me
Don’t wanna figure this out

I don’t wanna think about you
Or think about nothing
Don’t wanna talk this one out
I won’t let you bring me down

When I wake up here tomorrow
Things will never be the same
'Cause I won't wait
'Cause you won't change
And you'll always be this way
Now I'm gonna get through today
And there's one thing I know

have a little patience;

2007-04-21T12:49:00.000+08:00

I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything
And I can't deal with that.

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
the one that I can always depend
I’ll try to be strong believe me
I’m trying to move on
it’s complicated but understand me.

heyl0s.heyl0s.
l0ng time since i've update.
been busy.like i t0ld ya.
and what's m0re many things been happening.

i dnt kn0w whether i sh0uld say this.
cause what im g0ing t0 say w0uld maybe hurt 0thers.
but i have t0 be straightf0rward th0ugh.

maybe ref0rming back sexybaliks was a mistake.
i dnt kn0w.
but s0meh0w.
the m0re we try t0 get cl0ser.
the m0re we are drifting apart.

they say im n0t being myself lately.
i s0meh0w agree th0ugh.
but it's n0t 0nly me.
if 0nly y0u knew.

i have tried my best t0 spend time with y0u.
but t0 n0 avail.
it's like.
we are t0gether.
but it's 0nly 0n the 0utside.but what ab0ut in the inside?

i cnt g0 0n anym0re.
i just want t0 make y0u guys realise.
i just cnt be the 0ne wh0 sh0uld make it right s0metimes.
we d0 0ur part.and make a difference.
and everything w0uld be alright.

trust me.
y0u can step up y0ur game and save this friendship.
0r even just let it fade away.
and make me regret my decisi0n t0 ref0rm.

the decisi0n's in y0ur hand.
whether t0 save it 0r n0t.
and i w0uld kn0w the answer
with the way y0u act.

en0ugh ab0ut this.
i'm n0t in sch0ol 0n m0nday.
g0ing f0r harm0nica syf.
w0uld 0nly be g0ing f0r last less0n that is maths.

then tuesday w0uld not be g0ing t0 sch0ol.
it's lab0ur day.

and t0day.
w0nt be at h0me.
w0uld be at d0wnt0wn.
a familly functi0n g0ing 0n.
i w0uld 0nly update 0n m0nday.
if can.t0m0rr0w.

and yesterday.was pretty weird.
it was a stupid j0ke.
but i t0ok it seri0usly until i had a dream ab0ut it th0ugh.
but i dnt kn0w.
everywhere i g0.i w0uld see y0u.
haiy0.

but i t0ld ya.
i've l0ng given up 0n l0ve.
s0 dnt waste y0ur time.
it's 0f n0 use.

i'm d0ne here.i guess.
i'm busy this week.
and i'm t0o tired.

s0 take care.
anything just msg me 0r give me a call.
s0 i'm 0utta here.
take care.

and it was unexpected;

2007-04-18T18:55:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
yesterday sucks.
but t0day.
dnt really sucks.

0nly pe0ple d0 sucks.
and i hate it.

t0day standley came sch0ol.
at last.
i dnt mish him frankly.
cause i dnt miss pe0ple.

i dnt really mish pe0ple.
i dnt really kn0w h0w t0 miss them.
seri0us.during sch0ol h0lidays.
i dnt say i miss pe0ple.
maybe i dnt have a heart.

whatever.
i'm n0t really in a g0od m0od th0ugh.
i d0 smile.but it's fake i guess.
cause i'm n0t myself.

t0day.i dnt really mix with pe0ple.
the 0nly pe0ple is.
standley,syaqinah,nissa,amani and atiqah.
i dnt mix with s0me 0f the slumbers and sexybaliks.

i'm having mixed feelings in my heart here.
i cnt think straight.
and i dnt kn0w why.
a day w0uld c0me and maybe i w0uld breakd0wn.

burst 0ut all the things inside here.
damn it!
wat the hell!!!!

g0sh.s0rry.
i t0ld y0u i'm n0t in a very g0od m0od t0day.
s0 dnt mind me.

"sometimes the best and the most
beautiful things in the world cannot be seen,
cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart"

and that is l0ve.
l0ve dnt need reas0ns.
its something
you can feel burning inside your heart
and waiting to be explode of love

and whatever happens.
it happens f0r a reas0n.
and y0u dnt questi0n why s0meb0dy l0ves y0u.
cause l0ve is nature.
it happens unexpectedly.
just like h0w it happen t0 me.

think i'm d0ne here.
tags:i wnt reply t0 them th0ugh.
i'm in n0 m0od t0 either.
s0 s0rry.
help me get back my m0od then we can talk.
alrite?

take care.
i'm 0utta here.darl.

where's achik?

2007-04-17T17:05:00.001+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
didnt p0st f0r a few days.
was kinda busy with stuff and life.

and damn it.
i cnt c0ncentrate this past few days.
haiy0.
i need a slap.i need a nugde.

haiy0.
and maybe s0me0ne's mad at me.
and i dnt kn0w why.
haiy0.

what did i d0 sey.
haiy0.
nehmind.

and 0uhya.
standley's c0ming t0m0rr0w.
weehes.i dnt mish him actually.
hah.

s0 take care.
a sh0rt p0st t0day.
n0t in the m0od.
and im n0t myself.

s0 achik's twin here.
and achik's l0st.
where's achik.
i dnt kn0w.

when we laugh 0r we cry;

2007-04-15T14:57:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
i'm happy t0dae.
weehes.
the reas0n is as simple.

the sexybaliks is back.
weehes.
frankly.
i can try t0 pretend.but i cant f0rget the mem0ries th0ugh.
it feels as th0ugh i have l0st a part 0f me when we all had a fight.
it was as th0ugh we were all strangers.

n0w i finally g0t what it means true friends.
weehes!!!
s0rry guys f0r the mistakes i have made.
let's all start a new life.

h0okay?
and n0w.
it's all ab0ut us.
all ab0ut us.
it's all ab0ut us.
all ab0ut us.

s0 if they hurt y0u.
they hurt all the sexybaliks.
s0 we'll rise up.
wnt st0p and it's all ab0ut us.

when we cry 0r we laugh.
it's t0gether.
thr0ugh the rain and the st0rmiest weather.
we g0nna still be as 0ne.it's f0rever.
it's f0rever.

h0okay?
we sh0uld c0mpr0mised.
and v0w t0 never fight again.
can we?

i aint dealt with it all;

2007-04-12T16:02:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
im back fr0m m.i.a.
and many things happened.
im l0sing all my smiles.

didnt went t0 sch0ol f0r tw0 days.
was having high fever.
dnt talk ab0ut it anym0re.

n0w.
the sexybaliks is n0t anym0re the sexybaliks.
damn!

every0ne's changing.
and i dnt kn0w why.
maybe what my sis said was sp0t-0n th0ugh.
alth0ugh i didnt believe it at first.

friends c0me and g0.
its just part and parcel 0f life.
and y0u sh0uld just m0ve 0n with life th0ugh.

that's what y0u call mem0ries.
it sh0uld be treasured.
yeah.
and n0w it's the slumbers

s0 im m0ving 0n.
it's a matter 0f time behbey.
i miss the smiling faces on my sidekicks.

s0.
i'm w0rking at it.
and 0uhya.
i changed my number already.
96347540*

s0 till here then.
take care.
peash.

i'm waiting;

2007-04-08T10:10:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
didnt p0st f0r yesterdae.
f0r i was tired.
went 0ut t0 mrs pada's.

helped 0ut f0r the c0ming students.
fr0m fatimah c0llege.
it was fun th0ugh.
just that the heavy d0wnp0ur breaks my c0nfidence a lil'.

i hate thunders.
and i think g0d kn0ws i w0uld be g0ing 0ut 0n that day.
and s0 the thunders were s0 l0ud.
g0sh!

i blasted the mp3 t0 full v0lume s0 that i wnt hear the thunders.
hah!
it was funny th0ugh.
but im scared.

weehes.
and s0 reached ch0a chu kang.
th0ught it was sunny there.
but turned 0ut it was even heavy d0wnp0ur.
damn!
i have t0 run cause there was n0 br0lly.
and was drenched in the rain.

i saw it c0ming already.
achik's g0ing t0 get sick.
caught the c0ld already.
weehes.

haiy0.
reached there.
we eat ch0c0late cake and have peach tea at mrs pada's.
bef0re m0ving 0n with the stuffs t0 the b0oked l0ngue.
at the l0ngue,we dec0rate the walls.
arrange tables and chairs.

but m0st 0f the time.
i have t0 g0 0utside.
cause it was c0ld in the l0ngue.
and i c0uldnt breathe pr0perly.
cause 0f the bl0cked n0se.

haiy0.
s0 we waited f0r the caterers t0 set up the f0ods.
and waited f0r the indians t0 c0me.
we waited.
mdm anita,mrs chua,mrs bay and n0t f0rgetting mrs pada was there.
we had s0 much fun.
we talked ab0ut many things.

and mrs bay hug me.
cause i was c0ld.
and she asked me t0 have a change 0f cl0thes.
cause my cl0thes was wet.
but i didnt want t0.

weehes.
after a while.
the indians arrived during dinner.
at ar0und 7.
with teachers.
mrs quek(i mish her).
mdm vasanthi.

mrs bay t0uched 0n h0w h0ng kah students d0.
her slides presentati0n.
after that.
the dinner starts.

we ate.
many eat a sec0nd serving.
but n0t me.
hah!i was full even after eating tw0 serves 0f f0od.
i wasnt that hungry either.

after that we played games.
thanks nasima.
she was the master 0f cerem0ny.
and she did a great j0b.
my salute t0 her.

after the games.
at ar0und 930.
we packed.
clean the l0ngue.
and packed f0ods.

i didnt b0ther t0 take any h0me.
but they f0rced me.
they sae they have taken t0o many f0ods.
and asked me t0 take h0me.
haiy0!what a hassle.
but then i t0ok h0me.

reached h0me at ar0und 1030.
t0o tired.
went straight t0 bed.
at ar0und 1230.

anyway.
i had a tiff with this pers0n.
i dnt n0e what's the pr0blem.
i was busy.
s0 i didnt kn0w she called.
and i didnt kn0w she w0uld msg.
haiy0.

and when i asked her why she was in a bad m0od.
she say she wasnt in a bad m0od.
but i knew she was.fr0m the way she speaks.
haiy0.

i called her.
she rejected.
s0 i t0ld her.
i w0uldnt care less ab0ut her anym0re.
and i d0 what i sae.

dnt say i sh0uldnt.
nehmind.
im t0o angry t0 write anym0re.
and dnt asked me wh0.
its n0t any 0f the sexybaliks.
its 0ne 0f ~ ~.

take care.
pictures bel0w.

when you walk don't leave a note
just put your hands on the back door
when you talk it's just a joke
just no, I can't take it anymoredown there,
you go always
see if I care fadeddown,
don't you know where
I'll becuz I'm here, on my own

and I'll say

I missed itI missed it

and you'll call then I'll stay

im matured.im matured.

2007-04-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
weehes.
just came back fr0m imm.
weehes.

it was fun.
alth0ugh i was the 0nly girl lar.
tw0 b0ys plus me.

ahhas.
muben and nasri.
but 0verall.
its r0cks my s0cks.

hah!
i b0ught 2 t0ps at $22.
w0uld sh0w y0u.
its kewl th0ugh.
a green and purple t0ps.
weehes.

b0ught at I.P-Z0NE.
it was having a clearence sale.
and c0incidently i was sh0pping f0r t0ps
f0r t0m0rr0w.

have t0 dress up.
weehes.
and 0uhya.
y0u kn0w a secret?
i have cut my hair at last.

ahhas.
and 0uhya.
i saw julaiha while g0ing h0me.
hah.
pretending we're strangers.
weehes.

but i'm n0t s0mb0ng.
kans?
and diahh.
im matured.
i repeat in case y0u didnt understand.
t0 all.
im matured.im matured.
im matured.im matured.
im matured.im matured.
bluek!

d0ne here.
take care.
peash 0ut.
weehes.
i'm 0utta here.

beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

i th0ught y0u knew;

2007-04-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
it was fun th0ugh just then.
alth0ugh there's s0me m0ments when i was in trance.
haiy0.

we had h0mec less0n t0dae.
c0ok ayam masak merah and 0ndeh2.
hah!
kewl.

s0metimes i just dnt understand myself.
haish.
i make pe0ple happy.
even th0ugh i kn0w myself.
i wasnt that happy.

maybe i didnt want pe0ple t0 w0rry ab0ut me.
0r maybe just maybe.
i didnt want them t0 kn0w ab0ut it als0.

damn!
i hate myself s0metimes.
im happy 0utside.
but what ab0ut my inside?

maybe it was full with unhappiness s0metime.
haiy0.
a heart full of w0rds left unsp0ken.

and i g0t t0 kn0w.
i w0uld be participating in the speech day.
w0uld be 0n duty 0n saturdae.
serving the indian students fr0m india.

its fun 0verall.
but what i hate m0st is.
wear a tie.haiy0.

i hate wearing a tie.
its n0t kewl t0 me.
haiy0.
nehmind.

and t0m0rr0w w0uld be g0ing t0 give diahh a treat.
but i cnt get thr0ugh her th0ugh.
and saturday i w0uld be g0ing t0 mrs pada's h0use.
t0 help her dec0rate her h0use.

kewl!
hah!
things w0uld be keeping me busy f0r the time being.
s0 if i didnt update.
then pard0n me.

weehes.
but then i w0uld update.
insyallah.

till here then.
aint much t0 say th0ugh.
half 0f t0day simply sucks big time.
i was distracted in english less0n.
teacher kept banging the b0ard.
implying 0n me t0 c0ncentrate th0ugh.

but i just cnt.
s0mething's 0n my mind.
and that s0mething is s0mething which.
nehmind.

wnt g0 0n anym0re.
have t0 keep it t0 myself.
lemme suffer it.
w0uldnt be a burden t0 any0ne.
just like what syaff's been saying.

haiy0.
keep it t0 myself.
is the best thing i c0uld d0.

s0 peash 0ut.
i'm 0utta here.

y0u say i t0ok y0u f0r granted.
that's the last thing i w0uld d0.
i'll never understand it.
damn!

camwh0ring;

2007-04-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
weehes.
t0day was just a n0rmal day.
but fun th0ugh.

we did 0ur fav0urite things t0gether.
0ne 0f them is.
camwh0ring!!!

s0 pictures bel0w.
weehes.
c0mments are welc0me.
s0 here it g0es.

weehes.nice kan?
teng0k arh saper edit?
weehes.g0sh.

haish.s0 tired this week dey.
g0 skewl early.g0 h0me late.
then have t0 d0 h0mew0rks.
which i 0bvi0usly hate.

and n0t much time t0 sleep.
haiy0.
and i think im having appendics again.
just then my left side hurts badly.

and im having a c0ld.
haiy0.
s0 weak.
lack 0f vitamins i think.
maybe because i dnt eat vegetables.
hah!

yay.
and y0u kn0w s0methink.
in my class.
i have the smallest hand seyy.
haiy0.
all hands are s0 big and giantic.
tak nak kalah seyy.
damn!

s0oner 0r later
i w0uld be kn0w as.
the smallest and sh0rtest kind with the smallest hand.
damn!
haiy0.

nehmind.
maybe im g0ing t0 have a surgery.
t0 extend my 0wn hand.my leg and my size.
hah!
si0w.

weehes.
nehmind.
and 0uhya.
bef0re i f0rgets.
i have rec0nciled with my primaryskewl mates already.
0n the talking terms already dey.
weehes.
kewl.

s0 take care.
i'm 0utta here.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.
peash.

dnt get me started;

2007-04-02T18:33:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
i just l0ve t0day dey.
020407.a g0od 0ne.

we planned t0 g0 t0 imm after skewl.
hang ar0und.
at first.i didnt want t0 g0 th0ugh.
but at last.after much persuasi0n.
i did.and it's w0rth it actually.

went h0me t0 take ma ez-link.
waited f0r khairul.
and then 0ff we went t0 the bust0p.
reach then at ar0und 230.

we ate at bagus.
delici0us f0ods.
w000h00oo.

i shared fish and chip with syaff and khairul.
after that we went wind0w-sh0pping.
went t0 best denki.
played psp and xb0x.

w0oh0oo.
it was fun th0ugh.
shared s0me laughters t0gether.
syaff.atiqah.muben.khairul and syaqinah.
n0t f0rgetting me.

ph0t0s up s0on.
busy.
have t0 edit.
upl0ad.
take time.

s0 maybe i upl0ad s0me.
the rest t0m0rr0w.
kays?

take care.peash.
i'm 0utta here.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

and maybe what y0u say sh0uld be left unsaid.
cause y0u dnt really kn0w whats been happening.
if y0u dnt,y0u sh0uld just shut the fuck up.
geddit?
dnt get me started.

achik's gr0wing taller;

2007-03-31T20:03:00.001+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0day was just a n0rmal day th0ugh.
alm0st all 0f the sexybaliks g0 f0r their gap camps.
left me and atiqah al0ne.
haiy0.

they w0uld be away until t0m0rr0w.
haiy0.mish them cans?
g0sh.

all al0ne at h0me.
parents went 0ut t0 tampiness.
c0uldnt f0ll0w them th0ugh.
have t0 c0mplete ma pr0jects.
g0sh.and nasima still havent send me the d0cument.
damn!
h0w am i g0ing t0 d0 it.
if its n0t received by t0m0rr0w.
i w0uld have t0 d0 a new 0ne.
n0t f0rgetting the scripts.

damn!and m0ndae's the presentati0n.
haiy0y0.
nehmind.
g0ing t0 d0 a new 0ne.

s0 im keeping myself busy.
have t0.
s0 till here then.

achik's busy.
and 0uhya.
kak haslinda!!
weehes.
i'm blushing.bacause y0u saw me having p.e
g0sh!haiy0.
and im already tall.
ahhas.sindir per?
aiy0.
weehes.

nehmind.take care.
peash.
i'm 0utta here.

i'm t0o attached;

2007-03-30T18:17:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
went t0 skewl t0dae.
mish everyb0dy.
wh0 w0uldnt?
its been like alm0st tw0 daes i didnt c0me t0 skewl.

haiy0.
went t0 skewl with stan.
reach there as usual.
was still sick th0ugh.
lucky my temperature was 37.2.

and 0uhya.
ma classmates all asked me where did i g0.
did i l0st my way t0 skewl 0r whatever.
ahhas.
i just smiled th0ugh.

seems like they are c0ncerned.
weehes.
n0 me.n0 j0kes.
thats what they sae.
but n0 y0u.
there wnt be me either.
h0okay?

aiy0.
s0 silly.
pe less0n.
t0ld ya.im g0ing t0 be hyperactive again.
and ya.i am th0ugh.
we played this kinda m0nkey and p0is0n0us ball game.
it was like.
there w0uld be tw0 balls.
0ne the m0nkey w0uld be h0lding.
and the 0ther 0ne the players.
the player must thr0w the ball t0 an0ther player.
and she must thr0w fast.
if n0t the m0nkey w0uld thr0w the ball at her.

and i bec0me the m0nkey f0r sure.
because im the sh0rtest.damn!
haiy0.fine!hmpffh!
then c0incidencely.it was syaqinah's burfdae.
s0 she g0t the ball f0r sure.
and the c0urt was wet.
s0 were the balls.
and i thr0w at her.

phew!!a g0od sh0t.
it g0t hit 0n her face.
ahhas.
and her face was wet.
and there it was.
a g0od and nice 0ne.
achik just bashed the burfdae girl!
ahhas.

then i d0 it t0 alm0st every girl.
ahhas.
nice 0ne.
n0w all 0f them wanted revenge.
and 0ne 0f them did t0 me.
i c0uldnt av0id the hit cause i was h0lding an0ther ball.
was helping mr. said with his balls.
i mean with the balls.
n0t his balls lar.
g0sh.

pe tshirt was wet.
ahhas.
kewl.
aiy0.
english less0n.
was quiet.
was having flu.
didnt c0mmunicate much.
maths less0n.
put ma head d0wn.
rest.
teacher asked why but didnt say anything th0ugh.
after sch0ol.
g0 h0me with stan again.

didnt went f0r h0mec t0day.
was sick,like i sae.
maybe because i played with the water.
haiy0.damn!
slept after taking bath.
it was c0ld.rainning.

and 0uhya.
n0w its mardiana's turn t0 get sick.
ahhas.
she blamed me f0r passing the virus t0 her.
but it was like i didnt see her f0r alm0st tw0 daes.
h0w t0 pass the virus t0 her?
and y0u kn0w what she sae?
thr0ugh the ph0ne.
haiy0.
nice 0ne.

the day when i g0t sick.
she made a night ph0ne call.
9 till 1045.
l0ng th0ugh.
but the l0ngest c0nversati0n i had with her is three h0urs.
s0 it's n0rmal.
ahhas.

nehmind.
mardiana.get well s0on.
and better n0t c0me t0 sch0ol 0n m0ndae if y0ur still sick.
h0okay?

i'm d0ne here.
take care.darl.
peash.

beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

Cahaya menghilang redup
Kamar hati ku bagaikan terkunci
Jernih air dicemari kedukaan
Biar hujan membasahi l
uka Tetapkan pedih
Walau dibalut dengan kata Indah
Namun titis darah merah
takkan Menjadi putih ;

missing in acti0n;

2007-03-29T14:36:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
been missing in acti0n f0r alm0st tw0 days.
didnt went t0 sch0ol f0r tw0 days t0o.
haiy0.

mish ma sexybaliks and als0 classmates.
weehes.
aiy0.

was lying in ma bed m0st 0f the time.
didnt use the c0m.
n0 strength.
and what's m0re.
i cnt taste what i eat.
i cnt smell what i supp0sed sh0uld give 0ut the smell.
haiy0.

went t0 the d0ct0r yesterdae.al0ne
haiy0.
have t0 eat medicines.
didnt tast anythink th0ugh.cause i c0uldnt taste like i just sae.
s0 went t0 sleep at 3pm.
w0ke up at 715.
then eat dinner and medicines again.
was dr0wsy already at 915.
but call mardiana.
talked ab0ut yesterdae.
keep her acc0mpany.

then at 11.hang up the ph0ne.
went t0 sleep.
sleep halfway thr0ugh.
w0ke up at 12.
was sweating.
switch 0n the air-c0n.
went t0 sleep again at 1210.
w0ke up at 1045 t0dae.
msg mardiana.
supp0sed t0 msg her at 9am.
but w0ke up late th0ugh.

haiy0.
and n0w it's rainning.
damn!

think i'm d0ne here.
take care.
peash.
dummie + beanie's 0utta here.

everything i 0wn;

2007-03-26T18:10:00.000+08:00

click here.listen.and sing.
http://mhillexii.imeem.com/music/wPz0C5Vs/everything_i_own/

You sheltered me from harm
You kept me warm, you kept me warm
And you gave my life to me
You set me free, you set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

And I would give everything I own
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love
What a time, what a time
You never said too much
But still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you
And nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let g0

heyl0s.heyl0s.
lyrics 0f n'sync-everything i 0wn.
n0think much t0 say th0ugh.
kinda busy.
still havent d0ne my music pr0ject.
n0t f0rgetting my tw0 h0mec pr0jects.

and 0uhya.
went h0me with mardiana t0dae.
was kinda awkward.
ferst time g0ing h0me with her th0ugh.
but then i have standley t0 acc0mpany.

he als0 went h0me.
he had t0 g0 f0r tuiti0n.
and rum0urs are spreading fast.
like spitfire th0ugh.
they th0ught i was kinda in a relati0nship with him.
hah!i was kinda sh0cked th0ugh.
cause i didnt kn0w they w0uld think that way.
then i say i was in a relati0nship with him th0ugh.
it was friendship i mean.

hahas.
en0ugh ab0ut that.
t0ok a l0ng time writing this p0st th0ugh.
was busy.
and n0w mardiana's mad at me.
damn!

i dnt kn0w.
it started when...
nehmind.
i msg als0 she never reply.
pandai.
haiy0.

arghh!!
nehmind.
i'm caught up with time.
s0 i g0t t0 g0.
take care.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.
peash.

p.s:is there s0me0ne y0u kn0w?l0ving them s0 but taking them all f0r granted?
y0u may l0se them 0ne day.s0me0ne takes them away.
and they dnt hear the w0rds y0u long to say.

pressed f0r time;

2007-03-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0dae's sunday.
bumming ar0und at h0me as usual.
daddy and mummy didnt w0rk t0dae.

spent time t0gether.
watch televisi0n.
and shared s0me laughs t0gether.
many things we laugh 0ur heads t0gether.

was kinda fun th0ugh.
and n0w i'm sitting here.
editing pics.
w0rried ab0ut und0ne h0mew0rks.
ma presentati0ns.
h0mec and music.
haiy0.

if y0u were t0 kn0w.
i'm really stress up inside here.
waiting f0r the time.
until i breaks d0wn.
it's 0nly a matter 0f time th0ugh.

haiy0.
and 0uhya.
remember i t0ld y0u ab0ut mardiana?
i f0rg0t t0 call her.
and then i msg her she didnt reply.
then i t0ok the initiative t0 call her up.

she did pick up.
and she was angry th0ugh.
g0sh!
she waited f0r my call until 330.
haiy0.

and i did ap0logised th0ugh.
weehes.
haiy0.
and i have t0 call her i think.
nehmind.
haiy0.

still busy.
i'm pressed f0r time.
havent d0ne h0mew0rk.
didnt had a pr0per breakfast,lunch and dinner t0o.
just ate sandwich.

this few daes.
i dnt really eat much.
very lazy t0 chew the f0od.
hahas.
aiy0.
eat als0 very lazy siak.
achik.achik.

nehmind.
till here then.
have t0 c0mplete h0mew0rk.
alth0ugh n0t a skewlw0rk girl.
haiy0.

hyperactive l0ves me yesterdae;

2007-03-24T12:28:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
didnt p0st yesterdae.
t0o tired.
was hyperactive yesterdae.
hah!

yesterdae had p.e.
and it was fun th0ugh.
ahhas.ferst time me taking part in p.e
played handball.

didnt sc0red.
luck wasnt 0n my side yesterdae.
it was a miss everytime i wanna sh0ot.
damn!

then after p.e.
helped teacher with the balls.
i mean put the balls at the pe st0rer00m.
hah!
then wait f0r standley.
and went f0r recess.
and 0uhya.
ferst time i wave t0 wahtee.
it was unexpected actually.
they called my name.
and i c0uldnt see clearly.
s0 i just waved.
ahhas.

then went 0ver t0 the r0und table.
meet the sexybaliks.
they were suprised actually.
cause they haf never seen me perspiring s0 much.
haiy0.cause everytime i w0uld c0me up with an excuse t0 n0t g0 p.e
and i didnt yesterdae.
alth0ugh standley asked n0t t0 g0.

haiy0.
then went h0me with standley.
but then had t0 g0 skewl again.
had h0mec.
we c0oked chicken rendang.
but then i g0t a lil' 0nly.
s0 i gave it t0 kak haslinda.

stayback with her.
she haf t0 wait f0r her friend.
what's the name?
erm...
hafizah.
yay.i alm0st f0rget.
ahhas.

stayback with her.
then saw syafiqah and amani.
amani pass the xb0x game she b0rr0wed.
then kak haslinda went h0me.
i stay with syaf and amani f0r awhile.
we had funs.
talked ab0ut the darlie advetisement.
ahhas.
g0sh!
i nearly laughed my heads 0ff.
weehes.

then went h0me at ar0und five.
was s0 tired.
didnt eat.
went h0me used the c0mputer f0r awhile.
then mummy went h0me.
watch t.v

and at ar0und 745.
went t0 lala~ land.
was t0o tired.
w0ke up at 834.
eat mee h0ngk0ng.
was t0o lazy t0 eat actually.
but was f0rced by sister.
damn!

eat 0nly f0ur serving 0f it.
then went t0 sleep back.
pr0mised t0 call mardiana at ar0und 11.
but i w0ke up at 2.

th0ught she sh0uld be asleep by then.
s0 didnt call.
wake up at 10.
late.
and msg her.
but she didnt reply.
haiy0.
dnt tell me she's still mad at me?
haiy0.

i dnt kn0w lar.
haiy0.
haiy0.
haiy0.

think i'm d0ne here already.
take care.
i'm 0utta here.
beanie + dummie's 0utta here.
peace.

that's h0w i like it behbey;

2007-03-22T16:24:00.001+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0day's a fun day.
went t0 clementi stadium with stanley.
supp0sedly reach there at 7.
have t0 help mrs pada.

but then the cabby all full.
m0stly hired.0r m.i.a(missing in acti0n)
haiy0.
then after a few minutes.
a cab came.
thank g0d.
but we were already late when we reach there.
it was 734.i think.

haiy0.then luckilly was just in time t0 sing the nati0nal athem.
hah!
then went t0 0ur respective h0uses.

such a sunny day.
can g0 sun-tanning already siak.
i'm a lil-dark n0w.
haiy0.

was fun all al0ng.
hang ar0und with giant ash0k and cutey diah.
shared s0me laughs t0gether.

and i bring the digi cam f0r n0thing.
hah!
didnt t0ok pictures.
alm0st f0rg0t.t0o busy d0ing n0thing,i guess.
hah!

ermm.then walk t0 the clementi inter with the sexybaliks.
syaq,stan and mardiana and her friend.
didnt f0ll0w them t0 atiqah's h0use.
pr0mised t0 went h0me with mardiana.

s0 we parted ways at the pathway t0 clementi inter.
t0ok 99 h0me.
a d0uble-deck bus.
but i sit at the l0wer deck.
cnt sit with the 0ther kambengs.
cause mardiana hate sacastic remarks.
s0 i sit bel0w.

but she ask t0 sit with her.
but i didnt want t0.
s0 i just d0 my 0wn things bel0w.
haiy0.

s0 alighted with mardiana.
use traffic light t0 cr0ss.
we are 0bedient.
hah!

yay rite.
it was an insult actually.
h0okay.whatever.achik.
cut the crap.

and then chatted al0ng the way.
shared s0me laughs again.
and then we parted ways at the r0ad.
i g0 t0 my left.
t0 the left t0 the left.
and she g0 t0 her right.
t0 the right t0 the right.

haiy0.i'm lame.
i kn0w.
whatever.
then went h0me.
g0t a call fr0m mardiana.
gave her s0mething.
and then went h0me.

had my lunch.and breakfast.
but didnt finish it th0ugh.
after lunch.g0t a call fr0m muben.
ask me t0 g0 0nline cause he's b0red.

i sae insyallah.
cause was busy again.d0ing n0thing.
hah!
after awhile.
went 0nline.

talk with muben.
had a fite with him.
0ver s0mething.
haiy0.

n0w i'm frustrated.
haiya!
didnt have much t0 talk.
s0 i think i better end it here.

s0 i'm 0utta here.darl.
take care.peash.

believe me when i say;

what if i had a thing 0n the side;

2007-03-21T19:23:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
it's been a great day t0day th0ugh.
and 0uhya.
i'm drifting away fr0m the sexybaliks already.

what i predicted finally c0me true th0ugh.
but whatever it is.
like s0me0ne says.
pe0ple change.but whatever it is.
just m0ve 0n with y0ur life.

it's kinda true.
cause time cnt wait f0r y0u.
it wnt have t0 st0p.
and life have t0 g0 0n s0meh0w.

i cnt d0 anything n0w.
i just have t0 sit there and act as if n0thing happened th0ugh.
i'll find my 0wn way s0meh0w.
i'm just as str0ng as a superman.n0t cicakman.
weehes.

haiy0.t0m0rr0w's sp0rts dae.
l0oking f0rward t0 it.
had t0 g0 early.
helping t0 distribute f0ods t0 teachers.
mrs pada instructed t0.

taking 334 t0 jur0ng east interchange.
then meet up with stanley.
flag a cab.and reach t0 clementi stadium.
h0pefully reach bef0re 7 0r al least 7.

then d0 usual things.
haiy0.i'm n0t myself lately again.
this time i dnt kn0w why.
i just cnt find the 0ld me th0ugh.
it's all a big fake smiles all the way.
if 0nly y0u knew;

but i w0uld keep g0ing t0 find my 0ld me.
and then i w0uld be alright.
haiya.
i just dnt understand things.
it's all g0ing apart.

haiya.haiya.haiya.
haiy0.haiy0.haiy0.

whatever lar!!!damn!!!!
i hate it.
but i had a great time with siti-kus and kak haslinda th0ugh.
we went t0 the library.
0uhya.
we are immatured.hah!
and a new w0rd we learn:bulu.

hah!funfunfun.
but i cnt hide the pain inside th0ugh.
it was fake smiles all al0ng.
nehmind.
dnt wanna talk ab0ut it anym0re.

i better get g0ing th0ugh.
cnt g0 0n.
s0 take care pe0ple.
i'm 0utta here.darl.

beanie + dummie's 0utta here.

what if i had a thing 0n the side make y0u cry?
w0uld the rules change up 0r w0uld they still apply?
if i played y0u like a t0y;

i'm disap0inted in y0u th0ugh;

2007-03-20T17:26:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
didnt went t0 skewl t0dae.
had a slight fever.
and n0w i had the runs.

must have eaten s0mething.
and had t0 g0 t0 the t0ilet thrice.
maybe later g0ing again.
ahhas.

aiy0.
t0dae meet up kak haslinda.
and i saw her cry.
yeah.it was a suprise.
haiy0.ferst time seeing her cry.
and 0uhya.
i'm bad at c0mf0rting pe0ple when they cry.
s0 when pe0ple cry.
it's either i walked away 0r just shut the fuck up.
hah!!
seri0usly.i dnt kn0w h0w t0 c0mf0rt pe0ple.
i w0uld 0nly make them cry m0re 0r laugh.
haiy0.

i asked her why she cry all that stuff.
and she said she had an argument with **.
i g0t n0 c0mments t0 say.
i'm t0tally disapp0inted with **.
i tried t0 help y0u see things.
but y0u just wnt see it.
i'm t0tally mad at y0u!!

y0ur n0t the same as last time th0ugh.
and i cnt d0 anything.
it's y0ur life.
all i can d0 is sh0w y0u the right path th0ugh.
but y0u just dnt understand.
it's n0t that i dnt trust y0u.
it's just that y0u make me d0 what i hate.

maybe we sh0uld g0 0ur separate ways th0ugh.
if it g0es 0n like this.we are hurting each 0ther.
i dnt n0e.
i'm c0nfused right n0w.
i cnt think straight.

s0 i think i have sae what i want t0.
and i h0pe y0u understand what i'm tryna sae.
it's f0r y0ur 0wn g0od.
and what y0ur g0nna d0 is up t0 y0u t0o.
i cnt d0 anything.
all i can d0 n0w is extend my hand.
if y0u need it.h0ld 0nt0 it.

s0 i think i better end it here.
if n0t i'm g0nna breakd0wn.
i wnt shed tears n0w.
i'm g0nna be str0ng and s0 will y0u.
yeah?

take care.
i'm 0utta here.darl.
peash.
dummie + beanie's 0ut.

h0w t0 be fine when i'm n0t;

2007-03-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
kinda sick t0dae.
the pain acts up again cause i didnt eat f0r my breakfast and alm0st lunch.
i think.
and i'm having a spliting headache!!
damn!!

maybe i'm c0nfused ab0ut things all ar0und me.
upc0ming tests.friendships.and als0 s0me 0ther things.
haiy0!!
can die lar.
g0sh.

haiy0.
n0t in the m0od again.
cause 0f this headache.
haiy0.
be aware.
i can expl0de anything.
weehes.
yay rite.
g0sh.
i'm being sacastic here.
hah!

fine.i cnt think sraight th0ugh.
g0sh!
haiy0.
think i'm d0ne here.
take care.
peace.

dummie + beanie's 0utta here.
weehes.

chris daughtry-over you

2007-03-17T16:25:00.000+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.'

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

i'm already 0ver y0u;

2007-03-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
just came h0me fr0m the library.
with muben and kak haslinda.

it was fun th0ugh even if s0methink irks me halfway.
dnt wanna talk ab0ut it.
just that i detest liars.
wth!!

if you can't hold yourself together
why should I hold you now?
yeah.
i hate liars.

nehmind.
dnt wanna talk ab0ut ths fucking shit.
it's just wanna make me fucking hate y0u m0re.
arghh!!!
wth!!!

nehmind.
i g0t t0 g0 already.
new s0ng.
chris daughtry-over you.
nice 0ne.
beanie + dummie 0utta here.
dnt mind dummie.
bad bad dummie is in a bad bad m0od.
damn!

i'm n0t a sh0ulder t0 cry 0n;

2007-03-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

heyl0s.heyl0s.
t0dae.
i'm d0wn with a fever.
aiy0.

maybe g0t it when i went 0ut t0 see mardiana yesterdae.
cause yesterdae it was raining.
and i didn't bring any umbrella al0ng.

t0dae.
n0think much t0 talk ab0ut.
but i c0me t0 a c0nclusi0n th0ugh.

atiqah and i aint cl0se anym0re th0ugh.
can see.
it's hard th0ugh f0r me.

when i had a misunderstanding with s0me0ne.
when everything's alright,it's n0t t0 me.
i w0uld began t0 n0t trust that pers0n n0r get cl0se.
haiy0.
i dnt want it t0 happen this way th0ugh.
g0sh!!
s0 i'm steepping up my game.
i'm g0ing t0 d0 whatever i can t0 be like last time.
s0 supp0rt me.weehes.

s0 g0t t0 g0.
0uhya.dnt f0rget t0 listen t0
fall0ut b0y's it aint a scene,it's a g0ddamned arms race.
nice 0ne.
i like this s0ng th0ugh.
the vide0clip was kinda kewl,i must say.
and ya.
any0ne have the album?infinity 0n high i think?
can y0u be kind en0ugh t0 lend it t0 me?
pleash?

and bef0re i f0rget.
the band?remember?
kinda been f0rmed.
skewlb0ys fr0m c.c.k and als0 deeyan.
y0u kn0w rite?
and maybe just maybe.
i'm a step f0rward t0 achieving my dream.
t0 be a pr0fessi0nal drummer.
h0pe it wnt came crashing d0wn.
yeah?
maybe if everything's alright and find the bassist and all.
we'll be starting t0 g0 f0r practices.
c0mp0se s0ngs and als0 have 0ur 0wn jams.
just like juni0r jams!!!
isn't it kewl?

weehes.and if it's p0ssible.
have 0ur very first 0wn GIG!!!
w0w!!!
ahhas.
and 0uhya.dnt f0rget t0 supp0rt me again.
ahhas.
g0sh!!
i'm s0 happy th0ugh.

and t0m0rr0w g0ing 0ut.
with kak haslinda.
n0t f0rgetting khairul and atiqah(n.a)
weehes.
the digicam's tagging al0ng.
s0 kp0.
ahhas.

s0 till here then.
wanna watch tbee.
pris0n break seas0n tw0 sh0wing at 1030 s0on.
s0 peash 0ut pe0ple.
take care.
i'm 0utta here.
dummie's + beanie.

dummie's new life

2007-03-15T02:53:00.000+08:00

th0ughts 0f the day:love is painful that is true.

not to love is painful too; but there is a greater pain:

to love and not be loved again

heyl0s.heyl0s.

kinda delete all the 0ther entries.

all 0f 27 p0sts.

i'm starting anew.

yeah.behbey.

i dnt want t0 g0 br0oding 0ver my past anym0re.

the ~~past~~ is hist0ry.

what's imp0rtant n0w.

is my future.

rite?

0uhya.talking ab0ut that.

dnt remind 0f death again.

i dnt wanna think 0f it anym0re.

even if i kn0w i'm dying,

i wnt let it bring me d0wn.

i'm g0nna be str0ng.

and i dnt wanna burden pe0ple.

especially pe0ple wh0 i care f0r.and always will.

haish.

i dnt want y0u t0 tell me that i'm dying.

h0okay?

just tell me that i'm fine.

and i'll be alright.

if y0u keep telling me t0 take care 0f myself.

then y0u kn0w.

i w0uld be feeling w0rse inside.

g0sh!!

did y0u really kn0w that?

haiy0.

s0 remember.

dnt care ab0ut me t0o much.

i dnt need that.

i just want y0u t0 respect me.

as in just g0 0n with y0ur life.

and let me die in a silent 0ne.

h0okay?

remember friend.

whatever happens.

it happens f0r a reas0n.

and always n0ted that.

and i'm g0nna assured y0u that.

whatever happens.

i'm g0ing t0 make it and life g0es 0n.

h0okay.

it's 311am n0w.

i cnt get t0 sleep that's why.

s0 think i haf t0 turn in n0w.

take care.

remember.

i'm g0nna be alright.

it's just a matter 0f time.

and 0uhya.

i mish my besties.darls and als0 my **.

weehes.

h0w many daes m0re t0 sch0ol starts again.

can't wait.

s0 take care.

dnt f0rget t0 d0 y0ur h0lidae h0mew0rk.

study hard but play hard t0o.

play hard d0esn't mean play** hard.

i kn0w what y0ur thinking.

remember.

i maybe thirteen but i'm already MATURED.

ahhhas.

s0 peash 0ut.

dummie and beanie 's 0utta here.

take care.